What to look for when choosing a coach
Finding the right coach for you is really important. You’ll be making an investment in yourself, and not every coach is going to be for you. So, don’t be afraid to “try before you buy” and hunt around for a great match. To help you with your search, I’ll share a few things that you might consider looking for when choosing your coach. The same things apply whether you’re looking for a life coach, career coach, business or leadership coach… or any other kind of coach for that matter!
Are they prepared to get messy with you?
Your coach is there to help you create lasting breakthroughs in your life. They are not there to be a friend who gently caresses your ego. How willing does a coach appear to be in having difficult and messy conversations with you? Will they hold you to account for the commitments and declarations that you make, or the practices that you co-create? Will they say the uncomfortable thing, and then be at ease in holding space and support for you when it gets messy?
Do they have their own coach?
Good coaches have their own coach! This is a fundamental rule for me. Non-negotiable. I would never hire a coach who doesn’t have their own coach. Why should you invest in having a coach if your coach doesn’t value the process enough for themselves to have their own? Not a great endorsement for coaching, right? Coaches who are prepared to work on themselves with support and accountability towards their own dreams and goals are the clearing for their clients to do the same.
Do they relate to you as a broken thing to be fixed?
“Oh yeah I see your problem”. “You need to change that”. “If only you would just”… I could go on. Statements like this are a warning sign (amongst many others) that a coach is relating to you as being broken. Good coaches work with breakdowns and breakthroughs, not problems and fixes. You are not broken, even if you tell me that you are. You’re actually perfect just as you are. A coach that relates to you from THAT place is a coach who will empower and elevate you, not chastise and “fix”.
What training have they had?
The coaching profession is shamefully unregulated. That means that anyone can just set themselves up as a coach and start trading immediately. Even people who call themselves “qualified” coaches might have just done a 2-hour online course that cost them £49. Don’t be afraid to ask them about their training. My own training lasted a year with intensive (and gruelling at times) work on myself through the Accomplishment Coaching New York Intensive Coach and Leadership Programme. My financial investment was significant, and worth every penny. And even beyond graduation I keep investing in this and working on my own training and development constantly.
What does their fee structure look like?
You might look at what they charge (cheap is unlikely to be a good sign), how much of a commitment they ask of you (expect at least a few months to begin with - good coaches commit to working on lasting breakthroughs with you), and how much they stand for their own fee structure. A coach that stands for their own value and worth is going to be a powerful advocate for your value and worth. So, if they’re offering bargain basement discounts, if might be a sign that they would want you to do the same in how you value yourself.
Do they offer free sample sessions?
A good coach trusts in their process and the value that they create. They also know that they won’t be the right coach for everyone. And that you might not be the right client for them. So, great coaches will offer free sample sessions so that you can explore their coaching style, look for some of the other things we mention here, and decide whether this is someone that you can really be in partnership with. They will also be fully supportive if you tell them that you want sample sessions with other people. And really great coaches will have a powerful network of other coaches that they can introduce you to.
How “attached” are they to becoming your coach?
This follows on from point 6. If they seem super needy, salesy or powerfully attached to you having to sign up to work with them right there and then, just be cautious of their motives. They might be standing for a breakthrough in your self-worth, but they might also be standing for taking whatever clients they can get. Good coaches know the kind of people that they want to coach. They’ll use a sample session equally to decide if you’re a great fit for their practice. It doesn’t happen that often, but some people are just uncoachable, or not at a good time in their life to be coached. They might need therapy or healing work instead, or as well as coaching. A good coach would be open about this with you.
Do they coach to content or context?
A coach that accepts your “stories” and “problems” at face value and holds the conversation only in that place with you is practicing the game of “problem and fix” that we mentioned above. Great coaches know that to create lasting change in someone’s life, we need to elevate out of the story or the latest thing in your way and explore the context instead. Only then do we get into the realm of breakdown, breakthrough and lasting change.
Do they advise or ask? Do they tell or trust?
Coaches that spend most of their time telling you what to do or giving advice aren’t coaches. They’re consultants. They’re advisors. I should know. I am a consultant as well as a coach, and I’m super clear about how those roles are different. There is so much space in the world for them too! But to label consulting or advice as “coaching” is a little misleading. A coach will trust that you actually have everything it takes to seek your own answers, and they’ll be a master in asking powerful questions that help you have autonomy in the partnership with them.
Do they present themselves as being a shiny success that you should copy?
It’s so easy to be lured by their success stories and wanting to be “just like them”. That’s okay. But consider that it’s their story, and not yours. So if they’re presenting themselves to the world with a veneer of over-polished perfection, question how comfortable they actually really are to be with mess. Those who constantly work on and invest in themselves will be more empathetic and less likely to relate to you as “broken” if they’re also working on their own shit.
I hope that’s helpful. I can’t over-stress the value in the power of having a great coach. I’m totally biased, of course. I am one. But don’t just take my word for it. Why not give it a try? And if I’m not for you, I can recommend a whole load of other coaches who may well be and I will do so with pleasure.