Take a moment: be with the fear
One of the ways that I get supported is by having a network of wonderful coaches whom, from my involvement with Accomplishment Coaching, I’m in constant contact with. We have regular calls and spot-coach each other all the time.
This week amongst my coaching network there has inevitably been a lot of talk about fear, anxiety, panic and so forth. We have clients who are terrified. Hell, even we get to be terrified (reality check: being a coach doesn’t suddenly make you immune to feeling the tough stuff).
Now, I’ve spoken a lot this week about creating possibility from the predicament we’re all in. I’ve also found myself able to be the optimistic, compassionate and expansive leader that I want to be to generate an empowered team in my consultancy practice through this time.
However, while I choose to relate to everything that’s going on right now as an opportunity for creativity and reinvention, that choice is part of a process. And that process - in its full beauty and terrifying greatness - includes seeing and acknowledging fear. Not suppressing it.
I am afraid. A few days ago my fear was the unknown of how to get supported if my businesses take a financial hit. The UK government’s response has been reassuring, alongside which I’ve been busy making my own business continuity plans.
Yesterday fear appeared again as we learned that A-level exams are cancelled and I started to worry about the implications of this for the sector in which my consultancy team of nine people get most of their work from.
Today I’m fearing for my sister’s health. She’s asthmatic. She’s also a mum living in a house of five. I’m pretty sure that if one of her family picks up covid-19, she won’t isolate herself from them. Because, y’know, love. And I want to desperately tell her that the most loving thing she could do is to not get sick herself.
So, while I know I get to choose something different than staying in my fear, I also know that there is a lot to be said for taking a moment to allow ourselves to be in our fear, to feel it fully, to express it, to give it space, to respect the role it is trying to play for us (survival, protection) and then to step gracefully outside of it and choose something different.
I choose to do this by:
Getting really present to my fears. Writing them all down really helps me to work through this.
Considering what unmet needs these fears might really point to. My fear about my sister’s vulnerability to the virus for example is an indicator of my need for love and to be fully seen by others (she sees me like nobody else in my life does).
Getting supported in meeting those needs.
Releasing the fears that we cannot do anything about. This could be through exercise, through meditation, or even through writing that fear down and throwing it in the bin.
So what fears do you have? And what will you take on to get present to them and free yourself of their burden?