Take a moment: see possibility, not problems
I may be writing this at a time when all we see in the world are problems. But pandemic or not, I could be writing this post at any time.
Life is full of things that don’t go as we want them to. Why? Because:
We can’t predict the future
We can’t control circumstances that are not ours to control.
The unknown can be scary and exciting. But it’s actually all we have.
And when we’re so rigidly attached to something having to go a particular way, it can really suck to have it then not go that way. And when the trajectory seems to take a new path, we can start to relate to those forks in the path as problems.
But what if instead we just related to those forks in the paths as just another path? No right path. No wrong path. Just a path. Just a turning. And maybe even, yes, a different destination. Not a worse destination. Just a different one.
Those forks may look like problems, but they are also equally opportunities. And the only difference in the forks is how you choose to relate to them. Problem or opportunity?
Opportunities take many forms. And some can be harder to see or accept than others. But they’re always there. I promise. They take the form of:
A chance to get creative or playful and try something new
The potential to create more space, time or distance and to then be able to fill that time in new and wonderful ways
An opportunity for self-awareness, being able to identify our unmet needs and then get supported
A chance to create or reinvent relationships and connections
The space to reflect on what’s really important to us, and what we’re really committed to in our lives.
Now, I have a sneaky suspicion that some of you are looking for the exceptions to this. Consider that there aren’t any exceptions. Consider that you might just really get something out of living in problem land, that somehow it feeds you. It might give you a chance to be the hero, to rescue, to fix… and why might you have the need to rescue and fix? Because you perhaps need to feel valued, worthy, loved, useful…or something else altogether. I don’t want to pretend to know you, so fill in the blank for yourself.
Oh hang on, but we’re now back into the opportunity of self-awareness again. Time to identify those unmet needs that results in you living in problem land. So, I’m asserting that when we fixate on relating to something as a problem, that in itself is an opportunity to generate awareness of ourselves and our needs. It is always an opportunity. Neat, huh?
Next time you see a problem and it seems that life might be taking a path that you didn’t choose, ask yourself:
How am I relating to this “problem”?
What awareness is this giving me about myself?
Where else in my life does this behaviour or these patterns show up for me?
What opportunities does this offer me?
What will I declare to take on that creates a lasting breakthrough in my “being” and not just in service of “fixing” the problem?
Now, this can all be deep and tricky stuff to process. As a coach, that’s what I’m qualified to help people work through. So please do reach out or schedule a free sample session with me if you want that extra support or need that mirror to reflect things to you that you might be struggling to see.