The future is always uncertain and make believe… so let’s make believe!
I’m writing this from lock down during a pandemic. In a way that doesn’t matter. Sure, it’s inspired this post, but I actually could have been writing this at any time. The theme remains valid. But lockdown has amplified some themes about how people relate to the future that I want to play with a little in today’s post.
Let’s be super crude for a second. Forgive me? Right now I see two broad ways in which people are relating to an uncertain future right now:
Those who believe that in “these uncertain times” (yep, my eyes roll when I hear this too) we can’t possibly plan for the future because there’s so much that we just don’t know about how things are going to go.
Those who believe that the world they knew is no longer as it was and so it’s the perfect time to reinvent and do something different and new.
In lockdown these views are being put on loud speaker more than we’d see during “normal” times. But if we spoke to those same people a few months ago, we probably would experience a similar flavour in how they relate to the future.
Uncertainty about the future either paralyses us from dreaming, or opens us up to the excitement of possibility. Which one are you?
Ready for the brain twister part? Of course you are!
We never know the future. It is always uncertain. No matter how much we think we might have certainty about it, that is always just a story, just a lens of how we see the world, or an illusion.
I was binge watching videos on YouTube the other day. I was watching a little of “Say yes to the dress”. All good coaches should watch this show: watching human behaviour while wedding dress shopping is an ontological coach’s dream. But I digress...
The episode featured the ultimate Bridezilla. She had planned her wedding with military precision. She hand picked everything and knew how everything would go to the very last detail. And yet she was still stood there in her wedding dress on the big day having to order the florists to move the floral displays around.
Even from a place of utter certainty and meticulous planning, the way that her big day was actually going to go was still an uncertainty.
That’s precisely what the future is. It is wholly uncertain. The only certainty about the future is its uncertainty.
Now, for those who are paralysed by uncertainty, dreaming or allowing ourselves to imagine the future that we want to have seems impossible. And that’s what is amplified even more during lockdown. We allow ourselves to be wholly at the effect of the circumstances of our lives, and just take the next opportunity that comes to us, rather than going out there and making it happen.
And this is where play and the make believe comes in. Leaning into the make believe is an act of playing in the grey space between possibility and impossibility. A five year old gets to become a doctor. A seven year old becomes a fire fighter. A 48 year old becomes a medieval knight.
Playing make believe is an act of filling the gap opened up by uncertainty. It’s an act of creativity and invention. And because it’s playful, if can also be a great amount of fun.
So, whenever the future feels uncertain (hint: all the time), I invite you to fill the gap with a little make believe of your own:
Imagine how you want the future to go
Try it on in your imagination, like a dressing up game
Reflect on how it feels to be in that story and that future
And if you love how it feels, use that love and connection to your make believe future as the commitment and reminder that will support you in making the make believe a reality.
Play your way to imagine the future that you want! And then work with me to help you get there.