On eggs and life goals

This is a story all about eggs.

It’s also a story about my life and your life.

I’m an early-bird. And yesterday morning I had an intentionally early start. I jumped on a 6am call, did some writing, replied to a whole bunch of emails, put things in motion for my teams, and so on. A normal lockdown morning. By 9.45am I’d been working for almost 4 hours, and had skipped breakfast. I was hungry and starting to run on empty.

With a 30 minute gap before next call, I ventured into the kitchen to make myself some brunch. But there was NO EGGS! (this is the part where you gasp in horror).

I can’t have brunch without eggs.

I was sad. I was hungry. Heck, by this point I was even starting to get hangry. And the empty egg basket had me at a total stop.

I don’t like fruit for breakfast. I don’t like cereal. There was no bread.

I decided that that was that and I’d give up on brunch and just wait for lunchtime.

And this is much how life goes for many of us much of the time:

• We decide we want “something” (brunch, full tummy)

• We fixate on the “thing” that we substitute for the “something” (it has to be eggs)

• We come up against a stop (there are no eggs)

• We choose to quit, put in place conditions and/or kick it down the road (I’ll wait until lunch).

I could be talking about anything here, right? Brunch, relationships, career, dream house, family… Let’s try another:

• We decide we want “something” (I want to make a change in my working life)

• We fixate on the “thing” that we substitute for the “something” (it has to be this role in this company doing this thing)

• We come up against a stop (I don’t have that specific skill)

• We choose to quit, put in place conditions and/or kick it down the road (I’ll stay where I am and maybe I’ll do a hundred courses in the meantime to develop that skill).

The problem with this story is that it’s full of mini-stories that we hold as truths. Here are mine:

• Brunch must include eggs

• I can’t have brunch without eggs

• I won’t step out of my comfort zone to have fruit or cereal

• Anything else shouldn’t be eaten until lunch time

Must/mustn’t. Can/can’t. Will/won’t. Should/shouldn’t.

When our life is dictated by these internal truths, we regularly find ourselves at a stop.

But let me tell you a little secret. Come closer…

… They’re not truths at all!!! They’re just stories.

While some of you are nodding along at my truth that “brunch must include eggs”, others are reading this saying “err, no Tracy get a grip”. But even those people will have their own versions of these little truths or - otherwise put - limiting beliefs that hold us stuck or stopped in something in our life. We all have them.

And that’s where coaching comes in:

• A coach works with you on getting super clear on what the “something” is that you’re really committed to (filling my tummy)

• They’ll explore the stops and limiting beliefs (no eggs = brunch is impossible)

• They’ll support you to get creative - perhaps even playful - in the many different routes to getting to the “something” (ooooh look at all these amazing resources I have available to me already!)

The important thing for me was recognising that my higher level commitment was fundamentally to the “something” (filling my tummy), and that really the “thing” was just a story (it has to be eggs).

So, when I got present to the higher commitment and ventured back to the fridge with renewed focus, able to laugh at the silliness of my limiting beliefs, suddenly all kinds of possibility opened up to me. There was a drawer full of lovely fresh veggies, there was a pack of halloumi that had been sat there for a while. There was even a massive crop of spinach growing in the garden.

Brunch didn’t have to be taken off the table. I just had to recommit to my real vision (the “what for”) and get creative with the many different resources already available to me.

Twenty minutes later I was chomping down on a yummy halloumi, potato, leek, garlic and spinach hash. And I was both full and fulfilled. On top of that I also had the rush of joy that comes from being so creative in how I got there. The satisfaction of the eggs would have been there for an hour or so. But the satisfaction at my creativity is still sitting with me 24 hours later.

Consider too that sometimes we might know the “something” that we want, but not the “thing” at all. And sometimes we think we might know the “thing”, but without the “something” that it’s really in service of, we’ll never really bother. I wasn’t motivated by eggs (the “thing”). My true motivation was the “something” (I was hungry).

So, what are the eggs in your life? What are the beliefs that you have about those eggs and how things should, will, won’t, can, can’t [fill in the blank with many more limiting beliefs] actually go? And would you like me to work with you as your coach* to find the way through?

Contact me for a chat about your life and how coaching might support you.

*I’m probably not a great choice for cookery-specific coaching. But, hey there’s another of my own limiting beliefs surfacing!

The brunch that was not eggs

The brunch that was not eggs