Why wellbeing first?

I’ve been busy putting more structure to my group coaching programmes over the last few days, and wellbeing is right up there as one of the first things that we’re gonna be discussing. So it’s front of mind for me right now.

I then logged onto my company’s messaging system this morning and two of my colleagues shared that they had a bad night’s sleep and are hitting the coffee hard to make sure that they can push through the day ahead.

I posted: “Why don’t you just take a nap? I don’t believe there’s anything on your task list that really can’t wait a few hours.”

While my colleagues are trying to “make up for” a wellbeing breakdown and muddle through the day, my invitation is for them to serve their wellbeing needs first, and then get on with the work. I don’t want to be a leader who shoves an IV of caffeine into my team. It’s taken one helluva breakthrough in my own approach to wellbeing to be able to model that for them.

But leadership and wellbeing is a topic for another blog post another time.

Let’s get back to you, and us. To all of us.

I think we’ve fallen into a poisonous - and yet oh so profitable - cycle in Western society that relies on us back-filling our wellbeing. Let me say a little more about what I mean by back-filling wellbeing…

On back-filling our wellbeing

A fellow coach shone a light on the idea of back-filling our wellbeing, and now I see it everywhere. Back-filling wellbeing is so predictable for most of us, most of the time, that we probably don’t even see that it’s a place to make a shift in our life. It goes something like this:

• We work really hard and push on and on because we know that a holiday is coming and if we can just get to that holiday, all will be fine and we can get some rest

• We have a bad night’s sleep and so we compensate by drinking twice as much coffee throughout the day

• We get stressed and tired and our body starts to show signs of it, so we book ourselves in for a massage or a spa treatment to “fix” it

• We skip breakfast to reply to those emails instead

• We get straight into work in the morning, and leave all the wellbeing “stuff” for after the work has been done

• We make space for wellbeing (exercise, meditation, sleep, reading, crafts… there are many forms that it takes) but something else comes up and so we postpone the wellbeing thing and do that other thing instead.

Any of these sound familiar?

And society perpetuates this. Coffee chains, vitamin companies, health spas … hell, even us coaches… they thrive on you back-filling your wellbeing with these temporary fixes. They LOVE you running on fumes or a half-empty tank because, hey, they have the solution to help you keep topping it up just enough to keep going.

But what if we were to turn all of this on its head and instead start from a place of a full tank? How far could you actually go in your days, and your life, if your tank were constantly full and not requiring you to pull in for a top-up every few miles?

And that is why I invite you to put wellbeing first…

Putting wellbeing first

When we fuel ourselves we can travel further. It’s as simple as that.

Ever had one of those afternoons where you’re mindlessly clicking around the screens, not really getting anything done because you’re tired? Before you know it, you may have lost an hour or two of your day not really achieving something. But if you’ve ever experienced the joy of a power nap, you’ll know that you can do so much more by stopping for 20 minutes and re-charging.

Or had one of those days when you’ve allowed yourself to exercise during the day… and suddenly you realise that you’re on fire for the rest of the day and getting so so much done?

That’s what putting wellbeing first looks like.

As coaches, we know that if we show up tired, hungry, distracted, angry, we’re not really much use to our clients. And so intentional wellbeing practices are a critical part of our day.

But this goes for all of us. Start with you. Fuel yourself. Care for yourself. Love yourself. And I promise, you’ll be able to generate so so much more in this world and for other people if you put your wellbeing first.

But I have responsibilities

This is the one I hear the most. Clients will try to “convince” me all the time that they can’t possibly source their own wellbeing first, because they have the kids to take care of, they have bills to pay, they have a team that needs supporting, because, because, because, because…

They’re stuck in a story that says “I can’t” or “it’s impossible” when in reality what they’re really experiencing is “I won’t” or “I just don’t know how yet”.

“I’ve tried everything and I just can’t do it” is probably my favourite story of them all. Really? Have you REALLY tried everything? How do we know when “everything” has been tried if we can’t possibly know what “everything” actually might look like? None of us do.

I assert that everybody, irrespective of their circumstances and how much they have going on in their lives can have monumental shifts in sourcing themselves and prioritising their wellbeing. And the place for us to explore is less about what you need to do, and more about what’s holding you stuck in the story that you “can’t” do it. And that’s the piece that I coach around.

So if it feels impossible, let’s chat.

Want to make a shift?

Don’t forget, I offer free sample coaching sessions. So if you want to make a shift with wellbeing in your life, reach out for a chat. We can explore how a coaching partnership with my style of coaching can create a once and for all breakthrough in how you approach your own wellbeing.