I’ve been hiding
I’m ready for the world to really see me again. But I’m not going pretend that the last few years haven’t involved hiding, silencing, and playing small.
For most of my career I’d been a fairly visible presence. I would speak at pretty much every event I was invited to. I would travel the world delivering workshops, keynotes, and meeting clients. I won awards for my public speaking, and I felt unstoppable.
But for the last few years my presence has been far more subdued. I’ve made the occasional appearance at events like Confab, OmnichannelX, and PSEWeb. And I’ve still hosted events like ContentEd and Utterly Content. But the space that I’ve taken up has been diminished. And this isn’t just about lockdown and the response to a global pandemic. In a way, I’ve been hiding in plain sight.
On the one hand, a big part of this has been so that I can support others to step into centre stage and elevate them to shine. Stepping back and clearing the stage - especially at ContentEd and Utterly Content - for others has been hugely rewarding. And I’ve been busy building the most incredible team and team culture that I’ve ever experienced.
On the other hand, I’ve also needed the silence, to exist more side stage than centre stage. Yes, to hide. Sometimes I turned down the spotlight because the event wasn’t diverse or inclusive, or their communications weren’t accessible. My silence was an act of integrity. But at other times, it was simply because I felt somewhat lost and disconnected from crowds and communities that had previously felt like home to me.
For the last few years I’ve been in an intensive period of healing and reinvention. I’ve truly got to know and to love myself, but it hasn’t been a journey without pain and frustration.
Just before the world locked down, I celebrated turning 40 with a luxury ski holiday with just my sister and I. At the end of our week in the Alps, I fell unwell. More unwell than I have ever felt. And three years later, the final signs of that have only just started to disappear.
It’s been a journey of physical healing from burnout, leading to a diagnosis of chronic fatigue. It’s involved moments of extensive depression and anxiety. It’s been the stress - and even trauma - of leading a company and fighting to protect people’s roles and salaries through the inevitable downturn in business that us small business owners had to ride out through the pandemic with nowhere near enough support. It’s been a prolonged period of looking within. And I don’t regret a moment of it. I rested. I crashed. I cried. I laughed. I cancelled commitments. I created. I got abundantly supported. I wrote a book. I built a camper-van. I created this coaching company. I became a PCC credentialed coach. I fell in love with my solitude. I recognised that my health was worthy of my love and investment. I collected more dogs!
And so, now with so much ground covered and healing work done, I feel truly ready again to really be seen. I feel ready to step fully forward to embrace the work that I believe I am called to do: to inspire the kind of curiosity that enables people to believe that anything is possible. To lead my consultancy team as we complete our most successful year in business ever (not just recovery, but growth). To coach individuals who want to transform their lives and careers. And to work with teams who want to really make a difference within their organisations, and how they work together.
And while I’m fully ready to step back into centre stage, I can promise that what you get won’t be a performance, but the most real, vulnerable, raw and loving version of me that the world can handle.
So, that’s me. That’s where I am. And I’m delighted to say that you’ll be seeing much more of me. Because I truly believe that I’m worthy of being seen. And my voice is one to be heard.
Explore my new Collaborative teams programme, workshop and keynote to see what I’m bringing with me as I return to the stage.